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I stifled to recall when I was ecstatic. May it be the best moment. I'm afraid those moments do not last more than a moment. May it be splendid to call happiness the finest emotion, however, when I discovered it to be the cause of my ruin, some definitions ought to be mended. I wish to break those bonds that insecure, sicken, and wore off me. They have no care for who cared the most and they have no empathy for who rendered their hearts in miracles. Is it right for the almighty to make the compassionate compensate for the concessions of contradiction?
Her embrace was my support, and her fingers were my frame. She was my devotion and adoration. But her tenderness gave in for a moment. I looked up to her for a mirror. Her eyes told the truth but, today, she closed them and closed the doors that I always searched for in distress. She rested motionless on the white stretch. She slept under the white blanket. She received more flowers than ever. Well, my regret has greater influence than my gratitude to her.
How lively and content she was! Now she relaxes until the call to the alluring heaven. I thought that it was her divine smile that led the path to her divinity. May she be over the moon, may she walk on air, may she be on cloud nine, my seventh heaven has descended to the dark hell where every bell rings her name, Ataraxia!
I should not be grieving over my loss, for her stature is taller than mine. My dad says, “Dearie, since you are her flesh and blood, this relationship has incredible power. This travels beyond the distinctions of life and death. Look at that star and remember your mom is watching and blessing you.” Whether my core grasped him, or my intellect encountered the ultimate reality, tears slipped off my eyes to brief the affliction.
An aesthetic realization that puts itself forward; mommy meant tranquility. She stood for freedom from emotional anxiety. She was the whole sky in the build of a human. Nevertheless, the shade of the sky may change but, neither the stars nor the moon withers. It is just the course of how we glimpse them. Mommy stays in the bliss of the vibrant paradise. Her serenity from the stars that vanished is still the fuel to my spirits. Her soul still haunts me in repentance and nostalgia. My heart still pounds to hold her beats.
For we do recollect the misery we ran into, we must cherish the memories that came our way to greet us. Sometimes, the bonds must be kept secure to let go of the insecurities. I may not reminisce happiness but, her voice still echoes in my ears to pay the debt confronted centuries back. It was not her smile but God’s style to fetch her to divinity and me in the depth of Ataraxia.
About the author:
Kanishka K. is an enthusiastic girl, hailing from New Delhi, India. Keeping her life to the best, she stays loyal to the moral values and esteem transferred to her through her parents. Her hobbies include writing, researching, and being close to nature. She is an admirer of western and Bollywood music, which she prefers to tune with and dance on. She wishes to serve the international citizens in her futuristic utopia. She is a proactive high schooler, who hopes to step out of the four walls of her room to the fantasy world of exhilaration and liberty.
Edited by Prisha Jain
Cover page by Yifei Wang